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I was watching law and order: svu a while ago and they had this animal trafficking episode. anyway this animal pimp had this pack of hyenas that he used to kill people. this, among other things drew my attention to the fact that hyenas are scary as fuck.
fact: chick spotted hyenas have dicks. extended clitorises. this is one hundred percent true.
fact: hyenas can adjust there body pressure to walk underwater and hold their breath for ages to stalk you underwater.
fact: they excrete a gnarly goo from their anuses to mark territory.
fact: spotted hyena clans can have between five and NINETY members, all led by one bad ass chick with a big ass dick.
fact: hyena women are both frigid and sluts. they won't sleep with like any dude in the pack, but they'll give it up to any stray that comes by from another crew. for hyena males this is the equivalent of going on a contiki tour in europe to finally get some after years of neglect in high school.
fact: hyenas have one of the most powerful bites to size ratios of any animal on earth. and they are not small!
anyway, hyenas are straight up ETCH. have you fucking seen the lion king? that chick is nuts, dude.
i wrote a song about it. not the lion king. hyenas.
